28 May 2009

Tokyo Gore Police

Tokyo Gore Police: To say this thing is *over-the-top* would be an understatement of an immeasurable magnitude. In one scene, an unfortunate Japanese policeman, looking for a little action on the side, gets his penis bitten off by a mutant whore. With his penis stump spurting blood, he machine guns the whore until she is severed at the midsection. Crocodile jaws then sprout from the whore’s wound, and she proceeds to use her new *snapper* on the cop. Imagine a film of nearly two hours of such non-stop *action,* and you begin to get an idea of the atrocity that is Tokyo Gore Police.

I don’t know what you call this kind of movie. And it’s not even really a movie. For the first 2/3s of this thing, it’s just of a compilation of highly stylized gore money shots barely held together by a thin plot and interrupted by bizarre fake commercials and public service announcements dealing with issues from a clearly troubled future Tokyo (the old Tokyo may have been buried under volcanic ash—or it may not. . .it was never quite clear to me what the repeated references to volcanic activity were supposed to mean).

This thing is chock-full of arterial gushers from exploding heads, decapitations, severed limbs and sexual organs, autopsies and self-mutilations. I doubt there has ever been a movie which sprayed more blood at its audience. Heads are sliced in half, and blood gushes out like water from a hydrant on a hot summer day in an American slum.

The last 1/3 of the movie, the *serious* part, attempts to explain what the first 2/3s was all about, and can be summarized thusly:

Tokyo is in the middle of an *engineer* crime wave. *Engineers* are criminals who have been turned into homicidal mutants by an evil scientist. When *engineers* are shot, chopped or bludgeoned, as frequently happens, their wounds morph into freakish weapons (like flesh-encased chainsaws, or bazooka penises or breasts that spray flesh-melting acid! Woo hoo!!). *Engineers* can only be killed by destroying the mutation-producing key-shaped tumors in their bodies. The privatized Tokyo police’s star *engineer* hunter is samurai sword-wielding Ruka (played by the JHottie from Audition), an angel-faced knockout who flashes her amazing thighs in police-issue mini-skirts and undercover short-shorts. While battling *engineers,* Ruka tries to the find the criminal mastermind responsible for the bizarre phenomenon, and also to learn the identity of the assassin who executed her policeman father.

I suppose the film makes *sense* (if one can say a movie like this could make *sense*) to the Japanese. . .they would understand the filmmakers point of view on the cultural issues which the film either mocks, satirizes, exploits or comments on.

For example, one of the fake commercials which interrupts the manic blood-letting advertises a product called *Wrist Cutter G*. . .it’s a cutter with a cute design! a trio of JPop-looking schoolgirls cheerily sing as they cut their wrists and lick their wounds. Is wrist-cutting a symptom of psychological problems among the Japanese? Or are cutters just bored girls indulging in a *modern primitive* fad? What’s the point behind the *Wrist Cutter G* commercial? Who knows? Who cares? Not me. I just sat back and gaped, like a rube at a circus freak show from an infinitely milder bygone age.

Is there any redeeming social value to this gore porn? If there is, it is beyond me. As I was watching the fetish strip club/whorehouse scene, which featured a disturbing line-up of mutant stripper/whores (including *snail girl*) engaging in various perversities (*chair girl* gives the patrons a mass golden shower) from a 21st century Psychopathia Sexualis, I wondered what our Lord Jesus Christ would make of this obscenity? How great is that darkness! That this kind of depravity is *entertainment!* Is there any defense for watching it? Yes, much of the movie is goofy, campy and comic, but that makes the depravity even more depraved, because we are tempted to judge it as harmless. And to see the images of transmorgified human flesh, to see the human body, which is made after the likeness of God, to see it corrupted, to see creation mocked so basely, to watch this and not vomit, validates the fall. I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven. Mankind is in the midst of a similar fall. We are so damaged, so unclean, the filth of our culture seems *natural* to us (or, to many of us. . .I am sure there are still a few who will turn from Tokyo Gore Police in disgust after a minute or two), I am reminded of the following from the prophet Isaiah, who felt beyond redemption in the presence of the Lord:

Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts. Then flew one of the seraphims unto me, having a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with the tongs from off the altar: And he laid it upon my mouth, and said, Lo, this hath touched thy lips; and thine iniquity is taken away, and thy sin purged.

After watching Toyko Gore Police, no, after ENJOYING Tokyo Gore Police, I felt I needed one of the Heavenly host to purge me with a live coal. . .

Alas, the closing credits promise *more gore coming soon!*

27 comments:

  1. I saw a Jap movie called Ichi the Killer recently that I thought was cool. From the sounds of this and that you liked it you would probably like Ichi the Killer. I have another called Wild Zero downloaded that I'll watch soon.

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  2. I saw *Ichi the Killer*--yeah, that one was very good. I saw a couple other movies that guy made. . .*Audition* (the chick from that movie is in TGP) and a really weird one called *Gozu.*

    *Toyko Gore Police* is cartoonish compared to *Ichi* and the others. . .just non-stop fountains of blood.

    What is it with the Japs and their schoolgirl fixation? I mean, we probably have the same over here, but we at least we try to hide it a bit.

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  3. You ENJOYED this crap?

    Never can you give me any business for enjoying Dumb and Dumber. Nevah!

    This is like a Variety review: I can tell I'll despise this flick. Then again, foreign films aren't that good. Too many foreigners are in them.

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  4. I guess you'll be taking a pass on this one, too:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjjMev9pNOA

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  5. That makes me want to assume Harry Truman's 1945 flesh and start giving orders. . . .

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  6. Most asian films blow. The chicks are hot, but I've never seen a Japanese actor convey an emotion that seemed genuine -- it's always overexaggerated with strained facial contortions and grand kabuki-esque gestures. Anyway, I don't want people to get alarmed, but has anyone noticed there's a box that says "followers" on this blog, and there is only one follower going by the name Gregoire. Doesn't Gregoire mean Watcher (as in fallen angel)? Do you know what happened the last time Gregoire watched people -- that's right, they came down and plowed our women. Don't panic, I think I got this one (ahem), THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU, THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU

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  7. Besides all the obvious over the top stuff I thought the story to Ichi was actually pretty good. I'll have to try to see if I can find those other movies that guy did that you mentioned. My stepson is a big Japophile and he hips me to Japanese stuff that he thinks I might like now and then. Thats where I heard about Ichi. But I can't talk him into watching any of the classic samurai movies for some reason.

    I don't know what the deal is with their school girl fetish. You could say its acceptable form of pseudo pedophilia I suppose. Personally it would not be a turn on for me and for that matter I would feel like an idiot if I told a woman to dress up in a school girl uniform and wear pigtails but apparently a lot of guys are turned on by that shit. Supposedly they sell used stinky school girl panties in vending machines in Japan, but I've never been able to verify this. But you could say the school girl fetish is also just the segment of Japanese porn that "the west" gobbles up. There is a wide array of very strange pornography that comes out of Japan.

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  8. Cwn, here’s a couple links for ya:

    http://hinoai.livejournal.com/353286.html

    http://www.weirdasianews.com/2008/11/28/used-schoolgirl-panties/

    Joey, thanks for taking care of Gregoire. You ever read the Book of Enoch?

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  9. The Japanese are the hyper-Americans. Except for not being war-mongers (in the last 60 years, anyways), they are more American than American. Surveys are conducted with regard to their opinion on global warming, they are more concerned with their stuff. Their fadishness is extraordinary. The clothing they wear often have a statement in English they don't even know. Competitive eating is more popular there than here.

    And they are pusses. The perception from film is they know this karate and are tough and all that jazz. I'll put an ordinary American against an ordinary Jap any day of the week and handicap the nip with a drunk American.

    This fascination is puzzling.

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  10. yeah, I think THE BOOK OF ENOCH should be part of the bible. So should the KEBRA NAGAST, since chapter 100 explains the watcher's rebellion -- you can read it here:

    http://www.sacred-texts.com/chr/kn/kn100.htm

    And parts of Milton's and Blake's writings also seem inspired by God. Anyway, as for japanese schoolgirls and why japanese men like them, my guess is its because asian men are reknown for being needledicks, so they see small tight bodies and think "that looks like about the right size to fit me." Though I disagree that japs are pussies - they definitely seem tough (mentally and physically). We should ask Janet Thimes for some insight into this -- she is clearly the most intelligent one out of us (you might disagree with that assesment, but disagreeing would only indicate that you are an idiot).

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  11. I think other good additions to the bible would be Book of Jubilees, the Book of Adam and Eve, and the Book of Jasher. I'd like to get Janet Thimes opinion on that, Janet M Thimes -- or maybe we could ask her sister, Jaimee Anne Thimes, say it with me, JaimeeAnneThimes. It's a good thing we don't pick out the new names for people going into the witness protection program -- we suck at this.

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  12. Joey... your mother's down here with us Joey... you'd like to leave a message?

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  13. Janet Thimes told me she is in favor of leaving the Bible as is. . .but she believes the reading of the apocrypha should be encouraged. . .at least, for for those who have the gift of discernment.

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  14. Hey, that's not very nice, Captain Howdy, but ask her if she wants me to bring anything over for dessert tomorrow -- maybe a custard pie?

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  15. I've been thinking about it, and I'm not sure I know what you mean by the "gift of discernment." It seems like it's code for something -- give me more hints!

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  16. Ok, I was at PizzaHut having dinner, and I went through a process of revelation and figured out what the gift of discernment is. I KNEW it was code for something, but now it's clear to me what you meant. Since it's better if people discover this hidden truth on their own, I'll just give this one small hint: Yul Brenner had the gift in Westworld, but not in FutureWorld. Yeah baby, Janet knows what I'm talking about, and if you don't then you need to get out of that minaret or put down that menora. Think about it -- what were the differences between Westworld and Futureworld, and what was going on with Yul Brenner?

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  17. hmmm, I may have had a few too many Coors in my system when I came up with that Yul Brenner idea. I'm not sure what I meant there -- let's forget about it.

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  18. I Corin 12:10. You have deceiving spirits behind much of the apocrypha. Truth mixed with lies. A little leaven leavens the whole lump. Most of today's so-called Christians are babies, if they are even Christian, and can't handle anything stronger than milk. To give them the Gospel of Thomas, for example, a classic case of a text mixing truth and lies, would be a terrible mistake. A Christian needs the gift of the discerning of spirits if he or she wants to wade through all the apocrypha, much of which is spurious.

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  19. I see what you mean about the Gospel of Thomas. I'm reading through it now and all the "everything is whithin you" stuff raises some red flags. It will probably take a long time to understand things here before discounting them as spurious or accepting them as true. Anyway, I suspect my gift might be comprehending tongues in divers places, but I'll have to wait until I go scuba diving with some foreigners before testing that ability.

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  20. The one from the *Gospel* of Thomas that really gets me is:

    The disciples said to Jesus, "We know that You will depart from us. Who is to be our leader?" Jesus said to them, "Wherever you are, you are to go to James the righteous, for whose sake heaven and earth came into being."I'll bet James wrote that himself!

    No way Jesus ever said that.

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  21. For those that are interested a Jack Chick documentary has been put on the tracker at conspiracy central. You'll have to register at the site and if you don't have a bittorrent program on your pc you'll have to install one but it looks to be interesting. I'm in the process of downloading it now.

    http://tracker.conspiracycentral.net/torrents-details.php?id=7383

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  22. yeah, there was something weird going on with that quote about James in the Gospel of Thomas, and I think I know what happened. James was the relatively talentless younger brother of Jesus, (talentless when compared to Jesus anyway), so Mary was probably always like "let your brother be part of your religion." So my guess is Jesus was trying to be nice to his younger brother James when he said that.
    I am going to have to take a while to understand the rest of this text.
    Anyway, is that bittorrent of the Gods Cartoonist documentary? I hesitate to register on that site to browse the videos with the NWO watching, but will download it where I work if people here give it good reviews.

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  23. yep, I was praying about this and I know that Jesus didn't think it was important as to who he put in charge, since the Holyspirit was going to work through that person anyway. He knew James was going to be devastated if he favored someone else, so Jesus threw James a bone. Jesus secretly knew all of them were screwballs who might pee themselves whenever a cock crowed, so he would tell them they were all important but Jesus always did the actual heavy lifting himself. Pray about this and you will see that Jesus thought the apostles were sort of funny with all their questions. Imagine if after seeing his example and hearing all of his sayings, they still ask "who should we follow?" Jesus showed both his sense of humor and compassion when he said "ummmm, follow James." This is why I never bother with the Strong's Concordance - only prayer can give you this kind of insight.

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  24. I can't get that bit torrent thing to work. . .

    Joey, you should write a Bible commentary. I'd buy the whole set.

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  25. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  26. Thanks, I'm trying to follow your example from the AlterEgo website ("Git dat crazy-ass dog out my face" -- LOL!). The best thing I've read is on AlterEgo, the one about "Where Will You Be In One Million Years?"
    Well, I hope to be in New Jerusalem, and I hope I get to meet you there.
    I'm going to get back to the Gospel of Thomas now -- I'm starting to think it is all true. And I deleted my previous comment only because of all the typos.

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  27. I have just installed iStripper, so I can watch the hottest virtual strippers on my taskbar.

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