PICK UP THAT SHIT!

It’s hard to imagine a human being can look more undignified, ridiculous, diminished than when they are stooping down to pick up their dog’s shit. Wearing a plastic glove they pick up their animal’s waste, carefully pack it in to a little plastic bag and the carry it home like it’s a precious memento from a golden outing.

Whenever I’m driving and I see somebody engaged thusly, I shout as loud as I can PICK UP THAT SHIT! I want them to know I’ve seen them. I have seen them with shit in their hand. I’ve seen them debased.

But maybe that’s the reason they do it? They want to be humiliated. Maybe they wish I’d stop my car, get out, and force them to eat the dog shit?  By submitting to my demand they eat shit, they feel relief from the stress of their daily responsibilities.  Or, because of some deep guilt or shame, they feel emotionally cleansed when humiliated.  Maybe the taboo of being humiliated by being forced to eat their dog's filth arouses them.  Or maybe they are some *big deal* in their daily life, and this temporary loss of ego gives them a sense of freedom. 

Whatever the reason, there are literally millions of Americans who engage in this bizarre, debasing ritual every day.

I have a cat.  I clean his litter box in private.  You ain't gonna see me scooping his piss clumps and shit logs in public like some proud half-a-sissy holding a plastic bag of dog shit while prancing around town like a zoophile Chuck Berry.