29 July 2025
Day 15
28 July 2025
Day 14
27 July 2025
Day 13
26 July 2025
Day 12
25 July 2025
Day 11
Me and ( ) and the lady on the phone worked at the same place. It surprised me that ( ) and the lady on the phone were still in touch. ( ) had never once brought her up in the last ten or so years we have been texting about Michigan football. Then again, why would he? But then again then again, why would he feel he could give out my phone number? That irritated me. This is all gonna make me sick, I thought, this kind of irritation could provoke a mild fever that could burn into something big. All the while I’m thinking these things over, the lady on the phone is explaining a thing to me. A thing about her son. I am comprehending what she is saying even while I am thinking my own thoughts. I will synopsize what this broad was taking a long time to say: I lived in the town where her son was last seen. Local authorities were of no help to her. So she wanted me to go to a certain spot he was seen at, go twice a day or night at random times and see if he was there, or anybody was there who “looked like they could help.” I laughed out loud at that last part. I said without thinking, blurted it out really, "I’m supposed to just talk to some stranger and say 'can you be of help,' like, what to some old lady, some kid, some bum, just anybody?" "I DON’T KNOW." She literally shouted. At 3:30 in the middle of the night. Or in the early morning. Whatever. There was a pause in the conversation. Not that it was much of a conversation. There was a pause in her talking at me. I just sat there in my bed. This was unexpected. The timing. I don’t believe in coincidence. I’m in the middle of recovery, trying not to relapse, trying to ward off illness. Trying to save people from me. I couldn’t help but think this was meant to fuck me up somehow. “Just feel it out, OK?" she finally says. “Oh-kaaay,” I said. I’ll synopsize the rest of the shit: she told me how old her son was, she told me about the circumstances that led to this stupid shit, she told me about the person who claimed to have seen him at the location I was supposed to go to, she said she would text me a couple of pictures of her son, if I would just go a couple of times for the next three or four days, she knew it was unlikely anything would come of it, but at least she could tell herself she tried. As she said this last part I was thinking well, she could’ve flown out here, got a hotel room and been at this place all day but I kept that to myself. Maybe she was poor. I don’t know. Whatever. I wouldn’t have the kind of money for that kind of shit. Anyway, I agreed. After the call was finally over, it took me forever to fall back asleep. I ain't going down there now. There would be nowhere to park. I'll go late tonight. Take a quick look. LOL. Stupid.
24 July 2025
Day 10
23 July 2025
Day 9
That was not entirely truthful. There is an additional reason. By not being specific, I encourage any reader who happens across it to assume the worst, as that is what is most common to human nature. I also desire, though am not certain of its success, the reader to judge themselves favorably against me. But merely imagining a hypothetical reader judging themselves favorably against me makes me rejoice.
22 July 2025
Days 6, 7 & 8
Worked a little more than I usually do. Felt like committing a crime later in the evening. Began researching it. The world is one enemy, as we noted yesterday in our discussion of the world’s denial of the eternal. The second enemy is the flesh. In our flesh dwells no good thing. My skin literally crawled with putrescence. The flesh is temporal. Like the world. It has to be fulfilled NOW. We all have sicknesses of the flesh, they vary, but no person is immune. So I laugh at self-proclaimed Christians who finger-point. So I was researching the crime (I will never be specific about the crimes or the illness. It doesn’t matter, and would only upset the tiny number of people who can stand me), and I groaned in my spirit. I remember Vanessa Redgrave, in the beautiful The Devils, self-flagellating. It can provide a temporary cure. I put a plastic bag over my head, tightened it around the neck with Gorilla tape. After about forty-five seconds I felt cured.
20 July 2025
Day 5
19 July 2025
Day 4
I closed the door. I set the bag of litter on the floor. I sat in my chair. I thought things over. It was absurd to believe my head was going to be split open carrying the bag of dirty cat litter to the dumpster. And yet. . .this is what I believed. I moved my chair next to the front window. I sat there looking out at the parking lot. What should I do? I have had these premonitions before. Sometimes they were accurate. I remember over 30 years ago, close to 40 years ago, I was working in a store, a young woman came in, she had a mohawk, she was nonetheless attractive. Oh no! I will marry her! It happened. Yes, sometimes the premonitions eventuated in reality exactly as they presented themselves. Of course, sometimes they did not. I sat in my chair and decided to wait until I saw another human being moving about the parking lot. Let me see what happens to them, I thought.
[In the interest of scientific accuracy, I must report that I am typing Day 4's report on Day 5. I’m already falling behind on this project. I can only do the best that I can do.]
17 July 2025
Day 3
Intensity: very mild *fever* broke out in early afternoon. Was watching the news and the broad who speaks for Trump was asked about the Jews bombing a Catholic church. When she said the Jews said it was an accident, I wanted to shit in her mouth.
Frequency: The desire to shit in the Trump broad's mouth was the only *fever,* and it burned off as soon as I changed the channel to General Hospital.
Factors: No new insights.
16 July 2025
Day 2
13 July 2025
Ann Coulter
To be honest, 20, 25 years ago, this broad didn't really bother me. Because, to repeat, to be honest, she didn't look too bad. She was rail-thin in a country populated by morbidly obese women, and she had very nice legs. Her giraffe neck and mannish face were always problematic, but nothing an extra large burlap sack couldn't take care of. She could vomit her *shock* takes or whatever, and I could still imagine her naked (with the burlap sack, of course) in bed.
But now, when she is an old bag, haggard-looking, wrinkled-up trans looking, I don't see her naked, anymore. I just hear her stupidities. She's pretty much a dumb cunt. Remember, she was the main cheerleader for the appalling J.D. Vance as Vice President.
Anyway, she has always been a self-proclaimed Christian, and when she could be visualized naked (with the burlap sack, of course) I gave her the benefit of the doubt. But now she looks and sounds like one of THEM (hint as to who THEM are: tribespeople). I can't visualize her naked or at the cross of Christ.
02 July 2025
Jimmy Swaggart

1 July 2025: The Rev. Jimmy Swaggart, who emerged from the backwoods of Louisiana to become a television evangelist with global reach, preaching about an eternal struggle between good and evil and warning of the temptations of the flesh, a theme that played out in his own life in a sex scandal, died on July 1. He was 90.
01 July 2025
Love Walked In
A struggling writer scratches out an average material existence by playing piano in a lounge act with his singer girlfriend. Despite their modest lifestyle, the two are happy — but can they stay happy without being rich? This becomes the mind-preying question which drives the struggling writer (brilliantly played by Denis Leary) to contemplate a crime which will defile his girlfriend. A dark and memorable parable from the pre-Late Stage Capitalism conspicuous consumption America, a time and place where the sheep were brainwashed into thinking that happiness was not possible without material wealth (nowadays the sheeple, long-since looted by their overlords, understand wealth is only for the Elite).