I stared at the wall for two hours and sixteen minutes. I was trying to *remote view.* It did not work. I saw nothing but the old paint on the wall. Maybe I should paint the wall? Red or black. Maybe both. Alternating stripes. Or just random patches. I probably won’t, though. Too much hassle. Brushes, moving shit around, covering shit. I then scrolled TV for close to sixty minutes looking for a movie to watch. Ended up watching The Dirty Dozen on Tubi. I’ve seen it many times. It’s one of the few war movies that isn’t shameless propaganda. The heroes are the unrighteous. John Cassavetes’ character is my favorite. First time I saw the movie, when I was well past being a crybaby, I wept when his character died. I had to be at least 18 years old. But my next favorite character was Telly Savalas’ A.J. Maggott. His charcacter is what many anti-Christs think most Christians are, LOL. Anti-Christs, LOL. Anyway, the movie reflects the world’s complete denial of the eternal. What the world fights for, the reason the world fights, all temporal. Complete temporality. I have to live in a temporal system. This may be a contributing factor to my illness.
Worked a little more than I usually do. Felt like committing a crime later in the evening. Began researching it. The world is one enemy, as we noted yesterday in our discussion of the world’s denial of the eternal. The second enemy is the flesh. In our flesh dwells no good thing. My skin literally crawled with putrescence. The flesh is temporal. Like the world. It has to be fulfilled NOW. We all have sicknesses of the flesh, they vary, but no person is immune. So I laugh at self-proclaimed Christians who finger-point. So I was researching the crime (I will never be specific about the crimes or the illness. It doesn’t matter, and would only upset the tiny number of people who can stand me), and I groaned in my spirit. I remember Vanessa Redgrave, in the beautiful The Devils, self-flagellating. It can provide a temporary cure. I put a plastic bag over my head, tightened it around the neck with Gorilla tape. After about forty-five seconds I felt cured.
Day 7:
Day 8:
We. . .LOL. . .I mean, I mentioned the world and the flesh as enemies. The third enemy is the Devil. Very, very hard to distinguish what is the Devil. In terms of the illness. Of course, most of it is me. Just like most of it was Judas. But apparently Judas needed one last little nudge. But did I ever need a nudge? It would be dishonest to say I know this for certain. But the Devil is real. If you think this world system developed naturally, without supernatural influence, you give human beings too much credit. Anyway, today I will not leave the house. I say house, it is not a house. It is a *council flat,* a poor person’s housing unit. I will not leave the unit. I will not even look out the window. I got a letter today from a fellow I correspond with who is in prison. I’ve mentioned his letters in earlier entries. His illness landed him in prison. I have never been caught. By law enforcement. LOL. I was going to read his letter and craft a reply, but. . .even locked in my house, I could not avoid humanity, or its simulacra. Somebody, something, trapped me. Very easily. Plastic bag and Gorilla tape time. LOL!
Intensity: Intense fever Days 7 & 8. Have not victimized anybody. Yet. Still a few hours to go in Day 8. It is a well-known fact anything can happen.
Frequency: Increasing, regrettably.
Factors: The well-known phrase from our Lord: Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. The best prayer is done from a plastic bag and Gorilla tape.
No comments:
Post a Comment