08 January 2020

Yellow Flag Flies Over Jamarkaran Mosque

CNN, 8 January 2020: There is a growing belief among some Trump administration officials that Iran's missiles intentionally missed areas populated by Americans when they targeted two Iraqi bases housing US troops early Wednesday local time, multiple administration officials said. Iran fired a number of missiles aimed at the bases in retaliation for the American strike that killed Iranian general Qassem Soleimani last week, further escalating tensions between the two countries. Officials have said there were no US casualties as a result of the attacks. The administration officials floated the notion that Iran could have directed their missiles to hit areas that are populated by Americans, but intentionally did not. And they suggested Iran may have chosen to send a message rather than take significant enough action to provoke a substantial US military response.

OK. After all the tears and the anguished cries for revenge, after all the monumental pomp and circumstance—the red flag over the mosque in Qom, the million men funeral tours—this is Iran's promised fierce revenge:

Iran's missiles intentionally missed areas populated by Americans.

America assassinates Iran's Hero General. . .and some Iraqi airbase runway is blown up? Not exactly the *historic nightmare* the Iranian leadership pledged.

Yup, color me stupefied and wholly unimpressed with Iranian *vengeance.* And while we are at it, let's also color that flag over the Jamarkaran mosque yellow, for most assuredly Iran lacked the courage to spill the blood of The Great Satan.

Let's be brutally honest about what Iran's woeful and intentionally misguided *attack* means: Iran remains submissive to the Great Satan, and chooses to remain in American chains, eating a daily dose of sanctions and humiliations.

We wish we could ask Ayatollah Khamenei, the spiritual leader and defacto mosque boss of Iran, how can he go to Allah and offer property damage at an Iraqi air base as recompense for the Great Satan's sacrifice of Soleimani? 

And perhaps Allah already told him he can't, in the form of two earthquakes and one plane crash after Iran's pitiful miss-the-mark missile attack.

[And maybe we shouldn't blame Allah for the plane crash. Considering Iran's refusal to hand over the plane's black box to aviation investigators, it could very well be the jetliner was shot down by Iran's nervous and inept air defenses.  Can you imagine proud-but-yellow-bellied Iran allowing the recording of the distressed pilot to be heard: these fucking towelheads are shooting at us!  And we also note the following symbolism: the airliner was from the Ukraine!  Impeachment Ukraine!  It's as if Trump bought down two birds with one stone.]

One can only imagine the bitter, bitter disappointment of Zeinab Soleimani, daughter of the assassinated General.  The Ayatollah looked her in her teary eyes and promised her father's murder would be avenged.  Hard to imagine a couple potholes on a runway in an Iraqi airbase bringing her any solace.   

And let's not fail to mention perhaps the greatest indignity of the entire l'affaire Soleimani:

A stampede erupted on Tuesday at a funeral procession for the Iranian general killed in a US air strike last week, killing at least 56 people and injuring 48 others. According to a report on state television, the stampede took place in Kerman, the home town of Revolutionary Guard Gen. Qassem Soleimani, as the procession got underway. Initial videos posted online showed people lying lifeless on a road, others shouting and trying to help them.

Hard to imagine a worse or more embarrassing few days for Iran.  After all the Grand Promises and the Majestic Dog and Pony Shows, followed by the funeral stampede, the cowardly military response and the possibly inept, frightened reactions actions of the Iranian air defenses, we are left with one absolute certainty:

Major General Qassem Soleimani is rolling over in his grave.

Some Iran apologists are desperately trying to spin the shamefully underwhelming and incompetent Iranian response as a *victory* for the Islamic Republic.  Only those literally born yesterday, after the furious Iranian pledge of revenge, could believe it.

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