13 March 2020

President Trump's Road To Wellville

President Donald J. Trump addressed the nation Friday in an attempt to calm an American people jittery over the novel coronavirus pandemic.

How could we best characterize the President's effort?

He resembled a poorly written and badly-acted Hollywood dystopian thriller's sinister leader teaming with sinister and greedy corporations hoping to lead a frightened, lost population to their doom (which eventuates in the parking lot of the nearest Walmart).

Trump's idiotic plan may be briefly summarized:

Those who suspect they are COVID-19 infected must surrender their data to a Google app which will determine if they are worthy of a virus test, and if so, then direct them to a Target or Walmart parking lot to get their nose swabbed.  [Poor people may have to ride the bus and hope Target or Walmart accepts walk-ups.]

After revealing his idiotic plan, Trump grudgingly accepted questions from a gathered press corps and, in varying degrees of peevishness and condescension refused to accept any responsibility for the abysmal federal response to the crisis to date, and insisted a solution heavily dependent on corporate partners was the best way forward.

Indeed, the whole address/press conference soon became nothing more than a tedious infomercial as Trump introduced one corporate executive after another, who back-slapped themselves on behalf of Walgreens, CVS, Target, Walmart, etc.

Among all the vague declarations and promises made by the corporate shills, Walmart's mouthpiece was asked a direct, simple question: when are you going to have hand sanitizer on your store's shelves? His answer speaks volumes about the likelihood of the success of Trump's idiotic corporate-dependent plan: Walmart is working very hard with their suppliers to secure additional stock. Check back with us soon.

Comic relief from this depressing example of the systemic failure of Absolute Capitalism (in which people are reduced to biological capital to be measured in time-off units from their wage masters) was provided by Vice President Mike Pence, who gave one of the greatest and most shameless brown-nosing exhibitions of all-time.  Pence repeatedly praised the magnificence of Trump's decisions whenever called upon by the President to defend his actions against reporters questions.  I imagine it would be easier to suffer COVID-19's agonizing respiratory death than live on as such a craven yes-man as Pence.

Only God's mercy can save thousands of Americans from dying due to the incompetent political product of late stage capitalism.

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