Predestination II

I understand why most people believe they have *Free Will.*  I have spent most of my life thinking about what I should do, what decision I should make.  It certainly is an authentic replica.  As I am thinking about the choice I must make, I never have the conviction it is not me making the choice, that I am just following some script or program.  It genuinely feels like I am deciding.

But that is not *Free Will.*

I know we have no *Free Will* because I am me.  I am always me.

The moment the sperm rapes the egg. . .no. . .THAT sperm WILL rape THAT egg and I will be.  And I will always be.  I am eternally determined.  

No amount of *choices* can ever alter me.

No person is the person they want to be.  Every person has something about themselves they do not like.  The more honest a person is, the less they like themselves.

If we truly had *Free Will,* we could change ourselves. It should not be necessary to provide a specific example.  We can all look at our own lives, every person is aware of at least some of their defects, some people have even cried about themselves, wishing they were different, but there was and is not a single thing in their power to change themselves.  We have a mind that imagines it is free, but it has no control over the machine that houses it.  The mind cannot grasp that is a creation.

The mind thinks it is free, but everywhere it is in chains.

No honest person says they are the person they want to be.  

We can present it this way: if we had genuine *Free Will,* then we are exactly the person we want to be.  

Every person, in some area of their being, has despaired of themselves.  They have wanted to change some aspect of themselves.  But no matter the energy they expend in change, they run up against the impenetrable of wall of creation.  They were created, they cannot change their mold.

The Apostle Paul frames the dilemma of *Free Will* this way:

For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.  If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good.
Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.

Paul concludes our lack of *Free Will* is sin.  If he is correct, it is possible Adam and Eve had (and were the only people ever to have) *Free Will.*  I'd have to think about it (or imagine I am thinking about it) before I decide what I think (or become aware of what I am to think), but it could be when Adam and Eve, of their *Free Will,* ate the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, they instantly lost *Free Will,* they cemented their own fate (and the fate of all who followed).  They walled themselves into sin. . .and death.  Certainly some change instantly occurred, because their perception of themselves changed instantly (Genesis 3:7).  As I said, I need to at least imagine to think about it before I am made aware of what my conclusion will be.

At any rate, whether Adam and Eve had *Free Will* doesn't change our state.  We don't have *Free Will.*  We cannot change who we are.