Saving Private Ryan: Make no mistake, the war scenes are expertly recreated—yet this still must be one of the dullest and most over-rated movies of All-Time. The problem: a terrible script which offers a bland story (the totality of which is summed up in the film's three word title) and a big ZERO in the way of character development. So threadbare is the plot, fabled director Steven Spielberg is reduced to showing about fifty close-ups of Tom Hanks' character's trembling hand in order to generate some *drama.* And Hanks is disastrously miscast as a battle-weary Army captain. Bob Crane seemed more authentic in Hogan's Heroes. In fact, Hanks looked so much the fish out of water, during the final battle scene I kept expecting to see Meg Ryan parachute onto the set as a kOOky Army nurse sent to bandage up our wounded hero.
Matt Damon is even worse as Private Ryan. In one *memorable* scene which was meant to generate sympathy for his character, Damon laughably attempts *bittersweet nostalgia* as he recounts a bizarre anecdote about how one of his many now-dead brothers had once nearly raped a farm girl and then set fire to the family barn (?!?!). A tedious and colossal waste of time.
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